have NO clue what to do. but i do know i havent cried yet. which i think is pretty strong of me… but my point to this whole thing is…. what do you do when the one you love has given up on you? not really intentionally, but sorta. and your not ready? like i honestly am stuck. i cant go back and get him.. thats not an option and im not gunna sit here sulking… SO WHAT THE HELL IS LEFT.
so eff my life. my BEST GUY friend is ignoring me and just letting go off me. but im not ready for it. i TELL myself i am but im not. i think i get way too attached these days. eff my life. he mkaes me wanna cry. how in the hell am i supposedd to be happy for him?
any ways this weekend was fun. broke my curler tho great huh?! not
school tomorrow gross dawg..
ugh i cant stop thinking of him. okay THIS IS HOW BAD IT IS. i called him with *67 cuz i ddidnt know if his phone was on… he answered.. so i called back WITHOUT *67 and he ignores…. slap in the face? YES
but im not gunna feel bad for myself cuz mels life is worse than mine <3 sorry boo
ive made a promise i couldnt keep.. and now i am pissed i broke it. it was just one of those “silly” ones. but im jsut dissapointed in myself. EFFFFF. i wish i had you back…………………………………………………. but life MOVES on and so should i :(
fml i wanna like cry.
but other than that my day went good :) B DAYS SUCK BALLS
“said i wouldnt call, but i lost all control, i need you now” STORY OF MY LIFE man.
:(:(:(:(:( “another shot of whiskey, cant stop looking at the door, wish you would come sweeping in like you did before” THAT TOO.
whatever. i gotta get over it. blahhh
who wants to lend me some of their self control?
(via nothingpersonalblog)
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. PEOPLE WHO WERE ON THE FRESHMEN VOLLEYBALL TEAM LAST YEAR—- WHO DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF?!?!!??!
Actually, my friends in general should be able to answer this.
Audrey & Jill- Heyyyy guurrlllssss. what’ssss uppppp?!?!?
HMMMMM THIS ISNT HARD TO FIGURE OUT WHO WE ALL ARE TALKING ABOUT ;)
im having the JV girls come over to hang :)
should be fun with all this numnum around! and hopefully all the hot soccer players will be practicing!
shoot me?
cried for a while tonight. i hate my life right now.
i feel bad for mel tooo. and tomorrows plans got canceled. lovely
perfect day, not
kinda and not looking forward for tomorrow…
i miss ryan ward, being my bestfriend.
damn i hate trying to look good in front of people
the girls who try soo hard for the guy, but all of a sudden your crying. and you find yourself trying to figure out why your crying.. and you just cant. You talk yourself out of it, dry your eyes, and tell yourself “you know what im done, no more” 2 days later, your in the SAME damn position as before.
we all tell ourselves “we deserve better”, but really? every guy acts the same… tells you the sweetest things (your hooked), gets what they want or need out of you and wahla your suddenly kicked to the curb looking at his sinister smile.
i cant tell you how many times i have been put in this position by the SAME guy. yeah yeah “why didnt you walk away after the first or second time? or the sixth?” because i just couldnt… i couldnt get the confidence up to do it. and lucky me this guy is my BEST friend. so what do i do now? WALK AWAY YOU SAY? well lets see… think of your best friend… now picture you telling them “im done” and walking out and never speaking to them. Not so easy is it?
So where do i go from here? im seriously stuck.. will i get hurt more if i stay or try to leave? dont get me wrong this guy is awesome and when i talk to him he knows when im upset, my fake smile doesnt put up against him. but i have tried to stop the friendship or whatever we have.. worked for a while till i had no one to talk to.. and listen to me huney my dogs are not good listeners.
is it finally over since i moved to plano and im distancing? or is it an oppertunity to try to strengthen this?
i wanna know what yall have done… and what has worked.
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